WRESTLING IS REAL...Life is Fake: The Wirlif Report MCW

(All pictures courtesy of MCW and VLC snapshot )

Once again tis I the masked Aussie wrestling support system Recking Ball, and also once again I gave vimeo a visit and purchased MCW At Our Best , because I really like MCWs shows AND beside's my favourite crazed pommy, @JimmyHavoc, was on the show, and I do enjoy a dash of Havoc..ANYWAY, to the event.

The Jurassic Punk and one half of Hardway Inc were in the curtain jerker for the evening, and they let rip, they bounced each other around, had a chop-a-thon or two, Mike even got a couple of two counts ,

then Sid got evil and low blowed Burr, it mattered not a jot, Burr got the 3 count, then it got interesting, as in a couple of previous shows, the video clip of "Chupacabra" played

, which has Sid stumped cause he was the creature that looks like it climbed out of the yarra river originally,

anyway, "cabra crawled into the ring, went face to face with the Jurassic Punk, Sid even checked that he wasnt seeing things by reaching out towards the lizard beast,

'Cabra reached up ripped his hood off and lo and or behold, it was Lochy Hendricks, who after I checked is squaring up on Parker for ending his mates career, so the hood comes off and Sid cops a face full of green goop...

so cop that Jurassic Puke, and welcome back Lochy.

Next up came the Leader of the Kelly Anne Fiend Club and whom the commentary team called "The Beautiful Monster" versus The sheila that drives them into a frenzy, the sheila called Shazza McKenzie, this match,

quite frankly was gonna be a cracker, starts out with a slap-a-thon between the girls, then it got rough, Kelly fenagled Shaz into the corner then tried to turn her into a boomerang, human anatomy cant bend like that can it?..mine cant ...

Kelly even went to the old classic move and stood on Shaz's hair whilst yanking her off the mat, meanie!...It could be argued that the Beautiful Monster thought she had this one in the bag,, BUT....

that aint just anybody she was in there with Shaz fought back and decided to stretch the Beautiful Monster, and locked in a couple of dragon sleeper variations, but Kelly managed to escape, shortly there after The president of the Fiend Club hit a second cannonball and managed the 3 count ...

the girls on a roll that much is for certain

The Estate (Cousin Ali & Emanuelle) (w/Sebastian Walker) (c) vs. Juice X-T (JXT & Mr. Juicy)

The it was time for the Tag Title match, between Juice X-T

and those boring tedious scum sacks Cousin Tubby and Seth Wannabe (with added Sebastian), allow me to clarify, Ive seen Sebastian on MCW shows and even a a time or two on EPW, does nothing for me, probably a very nice guy but , "The Estate" in general do nothing for me, and besides, if their from an estate, shouldnt they be bogans?...

anyway, Juicy and Jxt were up for it, the assembled masses were up for it, the commentators were up for it ...

except the dip shit heels took a count out loss and walked away...did someone just turn up their heat?

time for a smidge of international violence and this requiries some added Havoc, yes one of my personal favourite pommies from Progress(among others)one (axe weilding) James Havoc was in the building and he immediately endeared himself by reminding the assembled throng that they were nothing but 5th generation convicts and that his lot sent them here

...charming!, then came his opponent, the co-founder of TMDK (or for all you who dunno, THE MIGHTY DON'T KNEEL), one Mikey Nicholls entered the fray,

Jimmy tried to make friends with him but nup, not happening, but it must be said, if you don't shake Havoc's hand he will kick you in the goolies, and sometimes he dont even need that reason, however Mikey fought back even if Havoc was trying his damndest to stop him breeding,

Jimmy even flipped off the ref, and who among us hasn't wanted too?, But Mikey whacked him one and dragged out a handy dandy table from under the ring which was used to its fullest capacity, however the psycho from Blighty was tougher than that and decided to give the fans a close up on the action, he yanked loose some barricade and was gonna chuck Mikey into the crowd

but the TMDK boss reversed it and sent Havoc tumbling through the furniture...Mikey then hooked Jimmys legs and showed him exactly how hard some black butt wood paneling truly is by bouncing his head off it...

Shopping time ensued and they pair of loonies headed towards the merchandise stand, where Nicholl's showed Jimmy up close and personal,

the cover of the latest TMDK dvd, Jimmy replied in kind by showing Mikey a whole box of other dvd's all at once, still in the box,

the boys made their way back to the ring and Mr Havoc commended to assemble a collection of steel chairs, which the boys used on each other with gay abandon, Jimmy swung 'em and Mikey chucked 'em,

Jimmy heads to the floor and drags a box of bits and pieces from under the ring into the match, Havoc "accidently" dumped the contents of the crate all over the mat...

fortunately Mikey beat him too it and hit the cousin of a death valley driver into the pile of steel and stuff, Im watching on a monitor and even i felt that one...Havoc made it back to his feet and a few more minutes of tooing and froing, Havoc hits a clothesline from somewhere near hell and pins Mikey for the 3 count.....

and that's the story of how Havoc ensued in Melbourne ...

PPS congrats to Mikey and Shane for getting signed to NXT give em hell boys.

THEN MCWs two resident lunatics Preston and Payne, enetered the arena and decided that they were gonna cut a promo demanding a title shot from Elliot Sexton, they achieved this by grabbing the ref and threatening to bump him off, Sexton reluctantly agreed ...demand achieved.

the smoke billowed out from the stage and Josh "The Axe" Shooter made his entry into the MCW Arena, and just like his name, had a shoot sharing of his opinions about a a guy at ringside, Axe was closely followed by the man who is the Slexiest man in Aussie wrestling, yep, Slex was back after his recent win over Tyler Bate and his manly moustache,

Josh appeared to be up for it taunting Slex in the ring, this resulted in a veritable flurry of action which included some fairly stiff chops, if sound is anything to measure them by, some Muay Thai homage jumping knees, and Shooter even applied a anaconda on his Slexy adversary...

which he followed up with the laziest cover in many a yonk..KICKOUT...Slex decide it was time to get Slexy on his arse, and grappled for bit, then hit a power bomb Shooter fought back with some kind of inverted death valley driver thingy and even locked on a STF...

but all to no or little avail, Slex walloped him with a "Slexacution" for the 3 count...

then it was time for the main event of the evening

MCW Inter-Commonwealth Title Match

The Mayor of Autobot City, The Last Son of Krypton , Your Inter-Commonwealth Champion The Dowie Lama, the Dow Dog himself DOWIEEEEE JAMMESSSSSS!!!! versus his ex tag partner the loose legend, the master of the senton and general all around scum sack one Mr Adam Brooks......

from the offski, Dowie went to work on Brooksy busted up wrist and hit with a variety of wristlocks, armbrs, cross arm breakers and general wrist wrecking mayhem, but cudos to Brooks, he fought back and even got in a couple of pretty slick moves then he got a smidge on the nasty and propped Dow Dog up against the corner post on the floor and took a run up and cracked the mayor of Autobot city a beauty,

rolled him into the ring and went for a cover BUT Dowie kicked out James then went back on the attack and locked brooksy up in the "Rings of Dowie", this was followed by further wrist lock and arm breakers which, Brooksy defended beautifully, he may be a scumbag, but he can go....

anywho, Dowie had him in a cross arm breaker attempt, then IT happened, and my heart goes out to this ref, firstly Preston & Payne strangle him THEN Adam Brooks whilst mid flail in the arm breaker poked him in the eyeball, I mean how much ouch can a ref take in one night ?...

Brooksy rolled Dow Dog into a pinning position and then rather cleverly and highly heelisly hooked the middle rope for some assistance, which the half blind ref didnt see and thus MCW has a brand new InterCommonwealth Champion...