G'day, tis I the masked Aussie wrestling fan again and its time I told you all about my third Progress show Ive ever seen ...THUNDERBASTARD 20 (BEYOND THUNDERBASTARD) and a deadset ripper it was ....Jim Smallman started out welcoming the assembled masses to the show and reliably informed the fans that he was gonna shave the wifes head at smoko and he didnt even have to pin her in a stip match to do it
...they were doing it for sick kids and if your gonna shave ya scone then thats a pretty good reason to do it CUDOS TO YOU MRS SMALLMAN CUDOS
On with the show........First up.....
Ayr's favourite son vs the warrior of god from Trinity parish London kicked the show off and you have to admire the Pastor he gave it his all , even hit a clothesline from heaven once or twice and a even a blessed backbreaker ,
didnt help much, Noam was either flying around or cracking him across the kisser, Noam even got him in the Knee Dar, but the Pastor had the man upstairs (the booker) onside and rolled up Noam for a surprising win
Their is one thing I do enjoy about Progress shows , I get to see guys Ive never seen before ...and this time I got to see four , sure ive heard of Flash and Bubblegum but tghis was my first proper look at them...
I got the suspicion that Webster dont like Bubbles AT ALL, him punching him every chance he got was a dead giveaway...Kyle and Hitchman were up for it too, all four boys uncorked the talent bottle and let rip...Kyle and Mike even got Bubblegum in a two man package piledriver ..
.somehow he lived through that until he got caught in a reverse hurricanrana applied rather expertly by Flash Morgan Webster...this led to a victory for the king of Brit Pop...great match .,...very good
Progress do a thing called "The Natural Progression Series were the overall winner gets a shot at the big belt ...the kickoff for this years was next
Natural Progression Series III First Round Match
First time I saw Sebastian (well the only time) was at Endvr 7 and he was a evil heel, somethings changed cause now his a geezer and the assembled throng love him, his opponent on the other hand Id not see before and he was a evil heel ....
Dunne was all over Seb, he was punching him, suplexing him, and he even got basty and ground his face into the mat and even tried cutting the corner pad loose for some evil intent.....
the ref pulled that up short and while he was fixing the turnbuckle up , the other Geezer , the Diamiond one, hit the ring to assist his team mante where they hit Dunne with the copyright infringement driver ...Sebastian rolled up the evil bastard and advances to the next round....
PROGRESS Tag Team Title Match
Tommy End and this time he brough his tag partner also from Zaanstad Michael Dante, YEP, The Sumerian Death Squad were in the ring...on the other side of the ring were two fellas from the Midlands in the UK Jim and Lee Hunter ....
Once again id only seen Tommy work before so this was gonna be good and they didnt disappoint, The Hunters even went so far as getting End in a smidge of trouble on occasion however Tommy escaped and threatened the Hunters with a arse kicking when one of em got a smidge cocky....the Hunters done pretty good, Tommy even got a couple of two counts, he was annoyed by this point and tagged in Dante to have some fun...and fun he had, levelling the HUnters with clotheslines , chops, and assundry violence...he even powerbombed one then lads on the ring apron..,.
somehow the Hunters survived this long BUT not much longer as the SDS hit the Martial law for Tommy to take the 3 count and the win....the SDS even gave the Hunters a standing ovation...how polite.....
Glen Joseph made his way to the ring and cut a promo which basically let the fans know that due to injury, One of his best mates, the first graduate of their trainig school, Ali Armstrong was pulling the pin and retiring from the ring, of course, some despicable pile of shite couldnt let that go without interupting and thus Nathan Cruz made his way to ringside,
HOWEVER , his extreme smarmyness double crossed him this time and Hughesy announced that it didnt matter a f&**k what number he drew in the Thunderbastard match, it was starting now and he was #1...sucked in f**knuckle I thought....just in case your wondering, eliminations can only be done by pinfall, tap out or DQ...so
Damon Moser hit the ring and generally kikced the shit out of Cruz who was saved by his eveil cohort in "The Origin" El Ligero, who I thought was gonna be a face forever, BUT nup his crooked, and he joined in on the assault and pinned Damon Moser to giuve his leader some breathing room...didnt last long next out was one of my personal favourites Rampage Brown, and he just belted the jesus out of those two arseholes , chucking them hither and yon willy nilly....next out was Browns former tag mat in Team Screw Indy Wrestling Mark Haskins, him and rampage commenced belting shit out The Origin...The Welsh Luchador Eddie Dennis was out next ( thanks mate now I got Party Hard stuck in my head) and he joined in on the bouncing around of Cruz and Ligero...
Tom Irvin and The Villian Marty Scurll joined the fray shortly after that and the action kicked up a gear...Tom irvin got rid of Ligero ....Cruz then eliminated Tom Irvin, Eddie Dennis then somehow disposed of Rampage , he was then got rid of by the snivelling jackoff Nathan Cruz....
Marty Scurll had enough of Cruz by this point and got rid of him, leaving Scurll and Haskins to figure out who was gonna be Thunderbastard....a smidge of submission broke out with Haskins going for some kind of weird leg submission and Marty going for his famous chicken wing a time or two....
Marty escaped as long as he could but Haskins got him down and got the 3 count....Haskins your a THUNDERBASTARD!
Now it was time for the big one, the PROGRESS title was on the line Jimmy Havoc was gonna have to fight off The Aerial Assassin Will Osperey to retain this time, sure he had beat him a couple of times before but this time Jimmy didnt have The London Riots to help him, apparently he fkn annoyed 'em so they dumped him and vowed to look out for Osperey on this night....
Just before the bell rung Jimmy let Jim Smallman know that he still had his belt and it wasnt going anywhere any time soon....
the bell rung and the lads were off and bashing, they made it out to the floor and when Havoc went for a chair a Riot stopped him cold giving Will a chance to keep on punching the evil swine....
Will set Jimmy up in a seat on the floor and hit him with a running dropkick whilst James was so reposed...OUCH!.....
the whole match was just a mountain of increasing frustration for one James Havoc, he even resorted to grabbing a always handy axe from under the ring and threatened to revove Wills noggin, luckily Will low balled the evil bastard and Jimmy dropped his axe ....
a spate of folding chair isms erupted with both guys getting in some solid shots, the most memorable being when Jimmy set one up in the corner to use on Osperey but Will reversed it ...BONZA....
a further kick out-a-thon erupted with Havoc trying about a half dozen times to finish it to no avail, it was a this point that Havoc decided to take out his annoyance on the refs and flattened a couple , this left Jim Smallman to count the pin which made Havoc happy as hell, cause he made Jim count the fall that made him champ in the first fkn place.....
Jimmy even got Will in a dire situation when he double foot stomped him through a table at ringside...Will still kicked out James was fkn PISSED....
Jim even got in a sneaky get stuffed gesture when he let Jimmy know he only go to two....The whole time the commentators were saying that Will had never been able to hit Jimmy with the 640 but Jimmy had been able to hit Will with his Acid Rainmaker at will, pardon the pun, ...
Will kept on kicking out, Jimmy tried to hook him up for the styles clash , but Will was too good and reversed it into "The Essex Destroyer"...it was at this point that I woulda pinned the evil swine BUT not osperey, he went to the top rope , the crowd chanted "Jump Tuck Pray, which is what he did, he launched into the 640 , crashed into Jimmy and Smallman made the best 3 count he ever had to do....
the WINNER AND NEW PROGRESS CHAMPION....THE AERIAL ASSAIN ...WILL OSPEREY....and the crown went POP
helluva match , one of the best i've ever seen I think, and thats a big call after 50 years of fandomend....rest assured this wont be the last PROGRESS show I buy...count on it
Seeya next time
No comments:
Post a Comment