A Wirlif show review: PROGRESS Ch:20 THUNDERBASTARD

G'day, tis I the masked Aussie wrestling fan again and its time I told you all about my third Progress show Ive ever seen ...THUNDERBASTARD 20 (BEYOND THUNDERBASTARD)  and a deadset ripper it was ....Jim Smallman started out welcoming the assembled masses  to the show and reliably informed the fans that he was gonna shave the wifes head at smoko and he didnt even have to pin her in a stip match to do it

 ...they were doing it for sick kids and if your gonna shave ya scone then thats a pretty good reason to do it CUDOS TO YOU MRS SMALLMAN CUDOS

On with the show........First up.....

Ayr's  favourite son vs the warrior of god from Trinity parish London kicked the show off and you have to admire the Pastor he gave it his all , even hit a clothesline from heaven once or twice and a even a blessed backbreaker , 

didnt help much, Noam was either flying around or cracking him across the kisser, Noam even got him in the Knee Dar, but the Pastor had the man upstairs (the booker) onside and rolled up Noam for a surprising win

Their is one thing I do enjoy about Progress shows , I get to see guys Ive never seen before ...and this time I got to see four , sure ive heard of Flash and Bubblegum but tghis was my first proper look at them...

I got the suspicion that Webster dont like Bubbles AT ALL, him punching him every chance he got was a dead giveaway...Kyle and Hitchman were up for it too, all four boys uncorked the talent bottle and let rip...Kyle and Mike even got Bubblegum in a two man package piledriver ..

.somehow he lived through that until he got caught in a reverse hurricanrana applied rather expertly by Flash Morgan Webster...this led to a victory for the king of Brit Pop...great match .,...very good
Progress do a thing called "The Natural Progression Series were the overall winner gets a shot at the big belt ...the kickoff for this years  was next

Natural Progression Series III First Round Match

First time I saw Sebastian (well the only time) was at Endvr 7 and he was a evil heel, somethings changed cause now his a geezer and the assembled throng love him, his opponent on the other hand Id not see before and he was a evil heel ....

Dunne was all over Seb, he was punching him, suplexing him, and he even got basty and ground his face into the mat and even tried cutting the corner pad loose for some evil intent.....

the ref pulled that up short and while he was fixing the turnbuckle up , the other Geezer , the Diamiond one, hit the ring to assist his team mante where they hit Dunne with the copyright infringement driver ...Sebastian rolled up the evil bastard and advances to the next round....

PROGRESS Tag Team Title Match

Next match on the card included one of my FAVOURITE wrestlers on the planet, the fella from Zaanstad in the Netherlands , THE ANTI HERO...

Tommy End and this time he brough his tag partner also from Zaanstad Michael Dante, YEP, The Sumerian Death Squad were in the ring...on the other side of the ring were two fellas from the Midlands in the UK Jim and Lee Hunter ....

Once again id only seen Tommy work before so this was gonna be good and they didnt disappoint, The Hunters even went so far as getting End in a smidge of trouble on occasion however Tommy escaped and threatened the Hunters with a arse kicking when one of em got a smidge cocky....the Hunters done pretty good, Tommy even got a couple of two counts, he was annoyed by this point and tagged in Dante to have some fun...and fun he had, levelling the HUnters with clotheslines , chops, and assundry violence...he even powerbombed one then lads on the ring apron..,.

somehow the Hunters survived this long BUT not much longer as the SDS hit the Martial law for Tommy to take the 3 count and the win....the SDS even gave the Hunters a standing ovation...how polite.....

Glen Joseph made his way to the ring and cut a promo which basically let the fans know that due to injury, One of his best mates, the first graduate of their trainig school,  Ali Armstrong was pulling the pin and retiring from the ring, of course, some despicable pile of shite couldnt let that go without interupting and thus Nathan Cruz made his way to ringside, 

HOWEVER , his extreme smarmyness double crossed him this time and Hughesy announced that it didnt matter a f&**k what number he drew in the Thunderbastard match, it was starting now and he was #1...sucked in f**knuckle I thought....just in case your wondering, eliminations can only be done by pinfall, tap out or DQ...so 

Damon Moser hit the ring and generally kikced the shit out of Cruz who was saved by his eveil cohort in "The Origin" El Ligero, who I thought was gonna be a face forever, BUT nup his crooked, and he joined in on the assault and pinned Damon Moser to giuve his leader some breathing room...didnt last long next out was one of my personal favourites Rampage Brown, and he just belted the jesus out of those two arseholes , chucking them hither and yon willy nilly....next out was Browns former tag mat in Team Screw Indy Wrestling Mark Haskins, him and rampage commenced belting shit out The Origin...The Welsh Luchador Eddie Dennis was out next  ( thanks mate now I got Party Hard stuck in my head) and he joined in on the bouncing around of Cruz and Ligero...

Tom Irvin and The Villian Marty Scurll joined the fray shortly after that and the action kicked up a gear...Tom irvin got rid of Ligero ....Cruz then eliminated Tom Irvin,  Eddie Dennis then somehow disposed of Rampage , he was then got rid of by the snivelling jackoff Nathan Cruz....






Marty Scurll had enough of Cruz by this point and got rid of him, leaving Scurll and Haskins to figure out who was gonna be Thunderbastard....a smidge of submission broke out with Haskins going for some kind of weird leg submission and Marty going for his famous chicken wing a time or  two....

Marty escaped as long as he could but Haskins got him down and got the 3 count....Haskins your a THUNDERBASTARD!

Now it was time for the big one, the PROGRESS title  was on the line Jimmy Havoc was gonna have to fight off The Aerial Assassin Will Osperey to retain this time, sure he had beat him a couple of times before but this time Jimmy didnt have The London Riots to help him, apparently he fkn annoyed 'em so they dumped him and vowed to look out for Osperey on this night....

Just before the bell rung Jimmy let Jim Smallman know that he still had his belt and it wasnt going anywhere any time soon....

the bell rung and the lads were off and bashing, they made it out to the floor and when Havoc went for a chair a Riot stopped him cold giving Will a chance to keep on punching the evil swine....

Will set Jimmy up in a seat on the floor and hit him with a running dropkick whilst James was so reposed...OUCH!.....

the whole match was just a mountain of increasing frustration for one James Havoc, he even resorted to grabbing a always handy axe from under the ring and threatened to revove Wills noggin, luckily Will low balled the evil bastard and Jimmy dropped his axe ....

a spate of folding chair isms erupted with both guys getting in some solid shots, the most memorable being when Jimmy set one up in the corner to use on Osperey but Will reversed it ...BONZA....

a further kick out-a-thon erupted with Havoc trying about a half dozen times to finish it to no avail, it was a this point that Havoc decided to take out his annoyance on the refs and flattened a couple , this left Jim Smallman to count the pin which made Havoc happy as hell, cause he made Jim count the fall that made him champ in the first fkn place.....

Jimmy even got Will in a dire situation when he double foot stomped him through a table at ringside...Will still kicked out James was fkn PISSED....

Jim even got in a sneaky get stuffed gesture when he let Jimmy know he only go to two....The whole time the commentators were saying that Will had never been able to hit Jimmy with the 640 but Jimmy had been able to hit Will with his Acid Rainmaker at will, pardon the pun, ...

Will kept on kicking out, Jimmy tried to hook him up for the styles clash , but Will was too good and reversed it into "The Essex Destroyer"...it was at this point that I woulda pinned the evil swine BUT not osperey, he went to the top rope , the crowd chanted "Jump Tuck Pray, which is what he did, he launched into the 640 , crashed into Jimmy and Smallman made the best 3 count he ever had to do....
the WINNER AND NEW PROGRESS CHAMPION....THE AERIAL ASSAIN ...WILL OSPEREY....and the crown went POP

helluva match , one of the best i've ever seen I think, and thats a big call after 50 years of fandomend....rest assured this wont be the last PROGRESS show I buy...count on it

Seeya next time

Wirlif Show report : MCW Ascension March 2016

G'day , Once again Ive put on the mask and banged together yet another show report by the rather good MCW, this show was on my birfdee, that was nice of them, Newy Pro put one on too, ANYWAY....

The screen sprang to life with Dowie James entrance and, quite rightfully, the assembled throng POPPED, 






trouble is it was that bloody Adam Brooks playing silly buggers, the masses were less than pleased...Brooksy then coerced Lord Andy Coyne into the ring to deliver one of Dowie entrances about Brooksy, which he did but didnt look best pleased about it, painful bit out of the way, Andy bailed when Mike Burrs music hit and the match for the  

MCW Intercommonwealth Title Match 

was on....

the match itself started out with a chop-a-thon and Burrsy fair lit up Smarmys pecs,  Mike hit a bridging suplex that was pretty good looking , Mike was on a roll when Adz yanked the ref in front of the oncoming hardway Inc member, the boys hit the floor and while Burrsy was on the floor Brooksy went for goal and punted Mike fair in the scone...

somehow Mike survived, made it back into the ring and thanked Brooksy for the kick to the head by trying to bite the champs fingers off, Brooksy fought back with what can only be described as a Thesz press with added oomph, he then locked up brooksy in a chiropractors dream, Burrsy escaped and thanked Brooksy by yakuza kicking him in the face....

Mike went so far as to extend the thankyou by attempting a superplex, Adz survived it and hit Mike with a revese codebreaker right under the chin to get the 3 count and the win,

 I have to say I thought Brooksy would be a cheating cowardly kind of champ BUT he done alright I reckon.

Next up was Josh "The Axe" Shooter vs MCW original Cletus , Axe started out the match by leaving....or so it seemed....

Cletus got hold of him and put his exit to a rapid halt...the high flying hillbilly hit Axe with everything, headscissors, and almost hit a Cletus Con Rana but Axe blocked it beautifully and delivered a very Kevin Owens like Apron bomb which slowed Cletus right down,  

The Shooter went to work and commenmced to stretching and powerbombing Cletus until he scored a hard fought 3 count your winner, Jimmy Havocs favourite MCW wrestler, THE AXE

last time I saw The Jurassic Punk he copped a faceful of green goop off himself , or so it appeared it was actually Lochy Hendricks getting square for some career ending chicanery performed on one of his mates by Syd, Match starts out with  Syd slapping Lochy whilst screaming something about him being chupacabra,

 Lochy replied in kind by beating the snot out of the punk and sending him to the floor almost flattening his mohawk in the process...Syd got it back into the ring, and heeled it up choking, punching and kicking Hendricks ,

 Lochy fought back somewhat valiantly, then Syd uncorked a jurassic version of the Boma Ye which rattled Lochy to the point were the zebra and the onsight medico pulled the pin on the match , your winner by concussion THE JURASSIC PUNK.

MCW Heavyweight Title Gauntlet Match

Funny place for the big belt to be defended, but what do I know, Sexton was pretty much conned into this gauntlet match at "At Our Best" by Preston & Payne when they got hold of Lui the Ref and threatened to bump him off, which they wouldnt ...would they?....anywhoo, 

Sexton yes righto and it was signed, first whack job out of the gate was Alan Payne who got rocked straight away for being a douche, Al got back to his feet and growled and drooled and gawked at the crowd, then he went for a crawl around ringside, a wrestling masterclass thus far I thought, THEN the nut case got creative blindsided the champ and power bombed him through the commentary table, 

youve never seen Lord Andy move so fast in your life, and rightfully so, the zebra disqualified the lunatic which made for the entrance of the other member, Jonathan Preston, just on a side note, the FBI BAU would have fun with these two, must ring Dr Spencer Reed and alert him to these two...

ANYWAY...Preston thanked his crazy little mate for the vicious beating and or softening up of the MCW champ, and went to work straight away with a pin attempt or three,

 BUT Elliot kept kicking out which annoyed the bats in Prestons belfry no end, Preston went as far to try and cut the turnbuckle pad loose but the zebra stopped him, frustration ensued, Jonathan then went to the desk and grabbed the title belt, he was gonna use it as a landing pad for Sextons head 

BUT the ever resourceful champ reversed whatever evil intent the crackpot had and slammed him back first onto the strap which led to a 3 count and a retaining of the title ...SEXTON ROCKS.

MCW Heavyweight Title #1 Contendership Match

Next up was the bloke who has been on quite the roll in MCW recently, Slex was back in town to grab that #1 contendership this time he wasnt going against a rock solid pommy like Tyler Bate, no this time, he had an aussie wrestling legend and THE South Australian Serial Killer , the one and only  "Jag"Hartley Jackson, let me just say that if this isnt one of your aussie dream matches, then you must of just got into aussie wrestling... 

Jag was his ever violent self and went straight to work on Slex who gave as good as he got,  Jag took pleasure in showing Slex how hard the corner pads can be and once he got him on the mate in the corner stuck his boot in his throat and choked him for a fairly long 4 count,  Jag went for a pin but only got a two, he wasnt best pleased with the counting speed of the ref....

Slexy fought back hitting a couple of cracking muay Thai knees and an attempt at a SlexAcution, but  Jag kept kicking out and stayed in the match, Jackson fouhgt back with a stiff clothesline , followed that up with a Jag powered piledriver which led to the 3 count and him being named the #1 contender...

.I have to wonder if MCWs resident crackpots Preston & Payne will try to hook up with the S.A Serial Killer to try and beat Sexton...either way, its gonna get interesting.

KellyAnnes music hit and Lord Andy wondered what the hell she was doing there as she wasnt booked on the show, The Beautiful Monster hit the ring and grabbed the stick for story time with Kelly, and once again Kellz complained about being held back by MCW and ignored by MCW and having to pay the hall renting costs by MCW, well, maybe not that bit, Kelly Anne then said that the girl on the merch table gets more respect by MCW as a trainee than she ever has...

Kellz then demande that Merch Girl come to the ring and explain the how comes and why fors of this situation, stupidly enough Merch Girl did it and tried to make freinds  with the head fiend ...didnt work....

Kelly Anne decide to take her apart and the beat down began, just when you thought that Kelly was done, she hooked on some serious cool looking leg lock which she wouldnt release even though the zebra was castergating her loudly, the head fiend finally did lety go when Kellie Skater( who also shouldnt have been there) hit the ring, Kelly Anne hit the floor and Skater called her all sorts and challenged her to a blue at the next show ...

which MCW officials booked forthwith....COOL.... p.s Merch Girl survived but heavily discounted Kelly Anne merchandise for the rest off the evening.

MCW Tag Team Title Match

The Main Event was upon us , if you will remember , the last time Juice XT had a title shot , The Estate walked out and took a count out loss  to keep their straps and they tried it again, but stupidly enough Seth Wannabe , Cousin Oily and their pet weasel came back to the ring this time....

Juicy and JXT were keen as mustard this time and gave the estate boys a seeing too, although Seth Wannabee, I mean Emanuelle, pulled faces and griped a lot , the fan faves ignored him and decided to have a fight instead...

I have to give the heels their due, they did a wonderful job of cutting Juicy off from JXT, and Sebastian Walker, the smary surpreme a-hole, let Juicy know exactly what level of crap he was in when Juicy got chucked out to the floor....Cousin Ali got tagged in, by the way, whose cousin is he?, is he Seth Wannabees or is he Sebatian Walkers?....

he used his mass to bully his opponents, THEN, he hada brain snap, and suddenly imagined he was a 140 lb luchador and climbed to the high rent district, Juicy and JXT were having none of that and climbed up and hooked him up for a super DUPER plex which they hit and sent Couisn Oily sailing across the ring ...for your MCW BUMP OF THE YEAR.....JXT and Seth Wannabee hit the ring and Seth straight away tried the old Eddie Guerrero chair chucking gimmick, you know, he gives a chair to his opponent and then sells like said chair just cracked him in the noggin....the zebra was momnetarliy considering dq'ing JXT but clearer minds prevailed and he called for a continuance, smart ref, clever ref, At ringside Walker damn near had a meltdown...

while in the ring JXT got Emanuelle in his finisher, the JXPlex which grounded Seth Wannabee for the 3 count and the win...your new MCW Tag Team Champs JUICE -XT...

much frivolity ensued ending with cold longnecks and a mass selfie at ringside...much congrats to the boys ..

So there you have it yet another MCW review by the masked man...

seeya next time