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Friday, March 18, 2016

WIRLIF says: I finally watched EPW HELL or HIGHWATER 2014



Yeah, Yeah, I know the show is from 2014, and fear not i have a valid excuse for being tardy with this particular show report...I only just discovered vimeo which has an abundance of EPW (among others) stuff to buy and download , which i've done a bit and now have 5 shows which I started  with State Of Origin 2015...BUT ANYWAY....to this one

Its an absolute cracker of a card from top to bottom, there was'nt a dud match on the card, so allow me to share with you with my thoughts on the show 


Gazza and his cohort were out first and as near as i could tell, the faithful think his a jibbering douche bag, so his doing his job I guess,


 then came the bloke from the local, flanney on back and tinnie in hand, Hughesy, pretty much started out with Gazza kickinh the lad around the ring, 

then Hughesy made a comeback and got Gorgeous with a dropkick and a spinebuster, then Gazza decided it was shenanigans time and pulled the ref in just as Hughesy got to him,


 which set up the distraction that led to Ms.Fontaine to blast the lad from the local with a fairly dusty international object, 


this led to the Jimmy Garvin clone to the victory.


Participant arrival was as follows Jacobs, A Nice Guy, Twitch and the + size party animal Sam Fantastic



...most of the match was Twitch and Tyler slapping around Dan,Sam coming to the rescue 



with a power bomb and a aero plane spin, he was thanked by Dan with a Cross body from the 3rd floor,


Tyler Jacobs fought back but The Nice Guy Dan Moore took the win.




Fall 1:  The McKenzie Brothers (Bodhi & Byron McKenzie) eliminated The Dropkicks (Leo Pratt & Scotty Ryan) via DQ


Fall 2: Jamie Jurah & ‘The Don’ Michael Morleone eliminated The McKenzies
Fall 3: Jurah & Morleone eliminated Koala Mask & Sam Fantastic


Fall 4: McMassive (Gavin McGaviun & Mike Massive) eliminated Jurah and Morleone
Fall 5: McMassive eliminated Elliot Forbes & Troy Bridges


Fall 6: TMDK (Jonah Rock & Marcius Pitt) eliminated McMassive
Fall 7: TMDK eliminated Jarrad Slate & Twitch


Fall 8: TMDK eliminated Hayden Zenith & Hughesy
Fall 9: The Solution (Richter & The Warship w/ Davis Storm) eliminated TMDK to 


become the NEW EPW Tag Team Champions

And you thought a WWE Traditional Survivor Series match was a lot to take in...


well, EPW have upped that anty by having a ten team guantlet title match, and the champs dont even have to be the last team out they could draw any number, sort of like a Royal Rumble but with tags and stuff...


the first two out were The McKenzie Brothers and , what proved to be very apt, The Dropkicks (Leo Pratt (also very apt) & Scotty Ryan), Both teams  got stuck right in and had a helluva go around and then came Jamie Jurah and Michael Morleone closely followed by 



  Sam Fantastic and Koala Mask, who lasted about 11 seconds, Other teams entered including , Elliot Forbes and Troy Bridges, Twitch and Slate, and Hughesy and Hayden Zenith, Then came my personal favourites McMASSIVE  The Shootfighter and Mad Mike Massive were up for it and generally procceded to punch, kick, steamroll and tea bag anyone who got in the way, all this closely followed by THE MCMASSACRE.


The countdown stopped again and who should enter next but, quite possibly , the most over faction in all Australia, I may be wrong, I do live in the same state as 4Nations, but to be fair TMDK are fairly well known all over everywhere aint they?, ANYWAY, 


Marcius Pitt and Jonas Rock entered the fracare and like the match wasnt hot enough already, the The Mighty Boys got stuck right in with "The Solution (Richter & Warship) until the Dropkicks,


 yes them wanks that were already eliminated, stuck their 3c in and generally ruined TMDK's night by powerbombing Pitt through a table which gave The Solution the win and the straps..


DROPKICKS INDEED, Im gonna watch more EPW shows to see if those jabrones get smashed by TMDK



NEXT....


Speaking of "The Solution" their fearless (?) leader Davis Storm had a match against the one and only Alex "AK-47" Kingston,  


Before it even got underway,  the new tag team champions Richter and The Warship tried taking him out before ”The Messiah’ Davis Storm entered the match, 



Storm proceeded to blather on like all good creepy messianic figures do, until  AK47 got his wind back and promptly decided to shut Storm up, 



with the Bodyslam Central crowd AND Hughesy cheering Kingston on, he kicked out of "The Eye of the Storm" 


and rid the ring of Davis Storm after a rather good "Canadian Destroyer" for the 3 count




‘The Master of the Jurahverse’ Jamie Jurah put out a challenge to the youngest, fastest members of EPW’s roster in an effort to prove he still has what it takes


 . Calling out ‘The Rising Star’ Hayden Zenith, Jurah entered the bout confident he would leave Zenith beaten and done for....


Jurah gained an advantage early spitting water in the face of Zenith. Jurah would succeed in busting Zenith’s lip open,  this fired up the Rising Star, 


 Zenith would climb the ropes and hit his patented Swanton Bomb to finish off the veteran. Both men would shake hands following the contest.





The third  ‘The Don’ Michael Morleone’s $3000 Hardcore Challenges was  next. 


For the opportunity to earn a shot at the Don’s Hardcore Championship, the fans picked from the crowd had to win a pin the tail on the referee contest......


A young woman won the contest with an assist from the Don and as usual the Don would attempt to knock out the winner with the belt. 


The young lady ducked and would jump off the top rope to hit a hurricanrana, momentarily shocking Morleone. The Don quickly regained his composure and ended the young woman’s challenge with a brutal sitdown powerbomb.


 The Don and Lukey Bolland celebrated to the sounds of Simply the Best as the young woman was helped backstage by officials Giles O’Brien and Matt Smarkson.




It was now time for the main event..... . 


It was a matter of how far the EPW Champion ‘The Smashing Machine’ Chris Vice and ‘The Behemoth’ Sebastian Sander would be willing to take risks and put their bodies on the line....


Sander did his best impersonation of "Wildman Marc Mero and the Sable in a sack gimmick,  and then made his intentions very clear as Vice made his entrance. Waiting for the champion brandishing a chair until Vice got closer to the ring where he flung the chair. 


.....Punishment was most decidely dished out and received by both men, Sander eventually  gained the upper hand with two brutal chair shots to the Smashing Machine. 


Vice got opened up and was wearing the proverbial crimson mask, BUT  the champ refused to die, which pinged off  Sander.....


A third chair shot flattened Vice out and the ringside medics rushed the ring only to be run off by the Behemoth. Sander demanded the referee count to three and a new EPW Champion was crowned...... 



Held back by EPW staff as the medics attempted to get Vice on the stretcher , AK 47, who had run in,  stared Sander down. As the former champion was rushed away by the medics, Sander left the ring a two time EPW Champion.






SO, there you have it my first ever EPW report...hope it makes you want to support the guys  and buy some...go on, you know you want to














@WIRLIF









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